Remembering Aunt Hilma

We knew that one of the hardest parts of moving to the other side of the world would be being away from our families and friends. This summer we missed out on lots of birthdays and other celebrations. While it was hard being far away, we felt like we could make up for it a bit with email, snail mail, phone calls, and Skype.

Yesterday we received the very sad, but not unexpected, news that Dave’s Great-Aunt Hilma had passed away. Great aunts may be a remote relative in many families, but Aunt Hilma was a sort of second grandmother to Dave and his siblings. We are very sad that we can’t be in Kansas City with Dave’s family. There’s no real way to “make up” for being gone. Still, I’d like to take a break from the chronicles of our Hong Kong antics to remember Aunt Hilma.

One of the first times I met Aunt Hilma, I recall her wearing a shimmery, metallic gold blouse and that she was bedazzled with gems – bracelets, necklace, and broach. It was a pretty bold fashion statement for an elderly woman. As I got to know her, I learned that in her younger days she had been something of a fashionista. She shared stories of her favorite stylish outfits, her love of jewelry, and at one family gathering she showed us a few pairs of the high heeled shoes she used to enjoy wearing. They were tiny in size and in pristine condition; they were made of wild fabrics, like leopard print. While her high heel days were long over, Aunt Hilma always coordinated her shoes with her outfit and never failed to dress up a bit with jewelry. One day she told me very matter-of-factly, “You know, you are never too old to sparkle.”

Aunt Hilma’s love of beautiful things did not end with bling. She saw beauty – and appreciated it – in the most ordinary things. She wrote us letters to tell us about a pretty flower or bird that she saw from her window or to just share a note card that had a picture on it that she thought we would enjoy. She loved cats and animals and would comment on things like her worry over a stray cat she had seen running through her yard.

Aunt Hilma also loved Lydia and delighted in getting updated pictures of her. Aunt Hilma was interested in our lives and gave us thoughtful gifts on special occasions. Years ago, knowing I love cats, Aunt Hilma gave me this memento…


I don't usually keep many knick-knacks around, but this one I have moved from house to house and now to Hong Kong; I think of Aunt Hilma every time I look at it.

As she aged, Aunt Hilma didn’t dwell on the things she could no longer do, places that she could no longer go, or even her declining health. Despite suffering many hardships in life and a lot of physical pain, she focused on the positive, seeming to embrace each day as a gift. Her dignity and grace in her final years were nothing short of admirable. We had a wonderful afternoon with Aunt Hilma the day before we moved.

Aunt Hilma left sparkles on our hearts.